Who is The Widow Mama?

2016-11-15 17.30.56What is life without someone to share it with?

Considering this is my first post.. I am sure a lot of people who stumble upon my blog are wondering things like, “WHO is this lady”, “WHY is she blogging”, and “WHAT is she blogging about”?

Let me tell you a few quick details about my complex life to answer those questions:

  1. I am 23 years old, and have experienced things such as child birth (twice), marriage, separation, the loss of a significant person, and so much more.
  2. I love to share my experiences with others in hopes that they can learn from my experiences, avoid making the same mistakes as me, or simply, so that they know they are not alone in this crazy and hectic world. (You’ve got a friend in me, as Randy Newman would say.)
  3. I live for only a few things in life: Firstly, my children. They keep me grounded. Secondly, connecting with nature. Including traveling to new and exciting places. Next, Love. And finding love again. What is life without someone to share it with? And lastly, personal growth. I want to become a better person every damn day!

That basically summarizes my life in the least amount of words possible. I don’t want to bore anyone just yet. . . .

If you are interested in learning about my past, living the present and embarking on the journey to my future with me, and the two little humans who keep me going, than keep on reading.

With Love,

Laura-Mae

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Feeling Lucky?

I often find myself trapped in this mindset of “Really Life?”. I feel like for the average person, it’d make them want to cry, but oddly enough, it tends to make me want to laugh.

I find a certain humility in life throwing you curve balls. It’s kind of makes me think that things must be going too well, and so I need something negative to happen to help me appreciate how good I have it.

My newest mishap actually made me a little bit sad though. I had just finished writing my previous blog, and out of nowhere, my MacBook decided to crash. If anybody else has had this happen (and didn’t have their life backed up) they will understand why it made me slightly sad.

Photos, videos, writing, ideas, all gone. Clearly it is a blatant sign to me that I should’ve backed up all of my files… but now I know for next time.

Sadly, this also means, until I fix my laptop, it will be difficult to produce new content for my blog. (Major sigh)

Anywho, I just wanted to share this little story with my readers.. There is a lesson, as always:

ALWAYS BACKUP YOUR FILES. Lol

With love,

Laura-Mae

 

Ps. Edits to come once my laptop gets out of the shop.

I Am Not A Writer

You are not a writer. I am not a writer. He isn’t a writer. She isn’t a writer….. And yet, we all seem to do the same thing. Write.

Isn’t it interesting that for us to feel confident about something, we feel we need to be that thing? Nobody is really anything, until they are. If that doesn’t seem to make sense to you, it soon will.

Before anybody was anything, they weren’t. You just need to grab the bull by the horns, and just do it. Your success does not actually start, until you start. So, if you want to be a writer, than start writing. If you want to be a Youtuber, you better start making videos and posting them. If you want to design clothes, than start doing it! Do you think that Louis Vuitton was born a commodity? No. He was the son of a miller, and before becoming a fashion entity, his work was as a box maker, and packer.

Would you have ever seen it coming that such a young man, coming from a poor background would have become so big today? Probably not, however, he got his foot in the door, and set his dreams into motion. That is what all of us need to do. We need to find our passions, and set forth. It doesn’t matter where you come from, or where you plan on going, because nobody was born to be anything specific. We all make ourselves into what we want to be.

For me, am I a writer? No. I didn’t particularly enjoy english class in high school. I haven’t done any post-secondary either. Do I strive to be a writer long term? To be honest, not really. But here I am, sitting behind my laptop, writing. And so are a lot of others out there. Are they writers? Were they born to be? Just like Louis Vuitton, probably not. Maybe for some of us, it is just a means to the end. Maybe we are leveraging the internet and getting our foot in the door for what we really strive to do. Maybe we are just passing time. Maybe, just maybe, some of us genuinely want to become known for our writing.

The possibilities truly are endless today with the availability of technology, and content we are able to write about. The world is quite literally at our fingertips, and if we use this technology wisely, we can become whatever it is that our hearts desire. It may not happen overnight, and for most of us, it won’t.. but as well all know, anything worth while takes time, and dedication. We must be persistent and constantly willing to learn and grow. We must not be hard headed, and we must always be willing to accept constructive criticism.

So, Here is my question for my readers:

What is it that you truly want to do in life? And what steps are you taking to get there? 

With Love,

Laura-Mae

 

Make ’em, Just to Break ’em

Its kind of ironic that I am going to write about “forming habits” today, because if you knew me on a personal level, you would know that I am probably one of the most spontaneous people you’ll ever meet. (I am not exaggerating this!)

I have the most free flowing spirit naturally, however, I find that having that kind of mindset sometimes inhibits my abilities to succeed at things. Yes, I am avery driven person, and I believe in energy, and manifesting.. however in order for you to be successful at this, you must stay on track, and not be floating around like a butterfly. Otherwise, you will get halfway to a goal, and then, move on to the next. And, though it may feel gratifying in the short term, longterm, you will realize you left a lot of goals incomplete.

So, my number 1 tip, if you are a person like me, is this:

MAKE HABITS….. and then break them.

I am also a strong believe that life was never meant to be lived in on city or town or province or state or . . . whatever your country is divided into. Life was meant to be an experience. We were not placed on this vast land full of magical wonders to wake up, eat, work, and sleep. We are meant to experience the world, experience love, experience LIFE. 

Here is the thing, making habits, just to break them seems idiotic.. however, it is the only way to make your dreams happen. You must loosely design a routine for yourself everyday. ALWAYS INCLUDE BREAKFAST. What your mother said about breakfast being the most important meal of the day… it was true. You need to fuel your body so that you have the energy to complete your daily tasks, and not feel drained. You need to start your day off on a positive note, so that it can naturally flow into a positive day, week, month, year and life!

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Rise and Shine

Back to the lesson here. Now that you have your routine, you have less chance to do impulsive things. I have seen before, some close friends, constantly impulsively buy things. I do this too occasionally, but generally, I don’t allow myself the opportunity. I have my work routine Monday- Friday, go to town on Saturdays with my kids, and spend quality time with them outside, have a ‘Me Night’ on Saturday night, and Sunday I do groceries and household chores, and prep everything I will need for the week to come. I don’t really have free time to go to the mall, or other stores, and so I avoid splurging on unnecessary purchases. (Which I used to do A LOT before.)

I try to stay as focused as I can, and know that by keeping this routine I will be able to spend less money on things I don’t genuinely want or need, and I will have more money to spend on the things that I do actually want and need.

Now, here comes the erratic side of me. The side that says, “REWARD YOUR HARD WORK AND FOCUS, GO ENJOY LIFE!” This side of me is actually crucial for my overall happiness, and I think that can be said about a lot of people. You need to reward yourself. Once you start to feel like the routine is drying out, and you need to get away from it, than DO IT. Follow your instincts. That is literally the only way a person will be happy. 

Let me explain, I don’t mean cheat on your husband. WHOA… no no no. I mean, you have been going for months and months to work. Its the same thing every day, every week, and you feel like you deserve a getaway or need a change of pace. Book time off work, and then go for it! Go experience the world. Go experience the spa that you always drive past. Go visit a friend you haven’t seen in years. You’ve always wanted to see the Yukon… GO. Just go, and do it, and be proud of doing it. Once you return to your 9-5, you will feel rejuvenated and thank yourself for letting go of your routine for a while, and just having the ability to be free. 

20160920_200504Personally, this is what I do at least once a year.. Sometimes a little bit more. Example: I already this year I took time off to visit friends in the Rocky Mountains.. I am currently in the works of planning out a trip to visit my Auntie for her wedding in July.. And the BIG one I am planning is to completely let go of everything and everyone I know (except my kids.. who will be coming with me) on an extended trip to Jamaica starting in around October/ November. (More to come about that as more details develop! )

I can honestly say that regardless of everything I have been through in the past year, and years, I have never felt more capable of overcoming obstacles than I do right now. I have never felt more positive or inspired in life than I do right now. I equate this happiness to making my routines so that I am set up for success in accomplishing my goals, and then diving into my dreams feet first!

What do you guys think on my “Make ’em, just to break ’em” method? What do you guys do to help you stay focused on your goals? Do you think it is as important as I do to experience the different cultures around the world? Let me know in the comments!

With Love,

Laura-Mae

Finding Your Call

Don’t ever think that life couldn’t get any worse, because just when you think you have hit rock bottom, something is going to happen to show you that things could always be worse. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.

Now, I have briefly gone over the last year of my life in my other article HERE. If you read that, you will really understand that things got to a point where I was left wondering what the heck am I going to do with my life? How am I going to raise my children? Where will I be in one year?

I have always had a passion for fashion, and always dreamed of having my own clothing line. Is this what my calling is? I am not really sure, but at this point in my life, the only way to find out is to give it a try, right? The worst that can happen is I fail, and I need to start over. Where will that leave me? Well, I guess no further behind than I am right now! Currently, I am a ‘painter’. You know the shit about this gig is? It is so weather dependent, and I live in a moderately tropical area. Though I have been hired separately for 2 companies now, however, both are so inconsistent due to the on and off rain, and that means that my pay checks are inconsistent as well.

How do you raise 2 children off of an income that just barely covers the childcare fees, food and gas to get to work? YOU CAN’T. I mean, you CAN… but you will just end up not being able to afford the kind of life you are dreaming of.

So, What do you do now? You take a leap of faith! You have a passion, and a vision, and just lack finances.. but maybe you can start off small. See how your business does. Try to get endorsement from Instagram stars, Youtubers, or even real celebrities. Look through your resources.. You know somebody who knows how to make handmade jewelry. You know somebody with familial connections to the fashion industry. . . MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Have I even started yet? No.. But, I am going to. I am going to add this to my vision board, and make it happen. One piece at a time, and eventually I will have a small line of clothes and jewelry that I will make a public launch of on Facebook, Instagram, and on here.

Wish me luck and blessings in this journey. And stay tuned.

With Love,

Laura-Mae

Grieve YOUR way

 

TRIGGER WARNING, THIS IS A BIT OF A STORY OF THE YEAR LEADING UP TO MY HUSBANDS SUICIDE. IF THIS IS A SENSITIVE SUBJECT, PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION.

Right from the start, my husband and I had an extremely rocky relationship. Many people said we shouldn’t have even gotten married… which, who really knows. But, the fact is, it was extremely unstable. We separated in January 2016. He left me, which I can get into further in another blog down the road.. ANYWAYS, after our break up, we were very on and off. For the most part, I would say off. I was immensely uncomfortable with his promiscuity, addictions, as well as his uncontrollable and unpredictable physical lash outs, and harsh language. (I honestly do not like speaking negatively about someone who has passed, especially my children’s father, but facts are facts.)

In July, he asked to meet up and presented me with a ring and necklace, asking for us to renew our commitment. I worked out of town, so in order to make this happen, I had to give a lot of trust, which at the time.. wasn’t exactly deserved. But, I did anyways. A few short days later, everything was already falling apart. 2 weeks went by, and I called it off with him. (For various reasons.) Mainly, I had found out he was already dating a new girl since I had left, and it was entirely too much for me to handle. I had to focus on working, and start focusing on myself and my children as a separate unit from my husband. This meant, that I needed to think of where I saw myself in months and years to come, not as his wife anymore, but as his co-parenting partner and ex-wife. It meant I needed to figure out what goals WE had together, and which of those were still a priority for ME to complete on my own.

One of the mutual goals we had as a couple was that by the end of 2016, we would travel to Africa. It had been a dream of mine since my early high school career and it was a big topic for us when we got married. We actually told everybody who attended our wedding that we had been planning this, and would possibly bring our children as well. So, being that we split up, I decided I was still going to bring this dream to reality. I still needed to decide where in Africa I would go, but, after working with countless South Africans, and living in close quarters to them, I decided that I would travel to South Africa. I made this goal clear to him. Whether or not he would come, I was going to go for a month in November.

He actually seemed to have taken it a lot better than I had thought. He said it would be a great way of rediscovering myself as a single adult woman, and experiencing the world. He told me that he would make every effort to kid proof his apartment so that he could watch our children while I was away, and asked questions like who I would stay with and what exactly I wanted to do. I let him know that after several months of working with South Africans, a lot of them became good friends, and that I trusted them to keep me safe and show me the country. I would travel all around and experience the culture and life, just as they do every day in their off season from work, and do a few other things like surf and climb the famous Table Mountain. Over the phone, he gave me complete support.

THIS IS WHERE SHIT WENT DOWNHILL.

Once I got back from my time working out of time, my husband had a change of heart. AGAIN. He decided that he wanted his family back. MEANWHILE, I was focused on becoming my own person. My mindset is that if something is meant to be, time and distance wont change that. So for me, focusing on going to South Africa by myself was no big deal. For him, it meant the end. For him, he began realizing that I wasn’t going to sit around anymore and allow this roller coaster relationship take its tolls on me anymore, or hold me back.

This is the thing.. Because we had seriously disconnected in the months following July, I hadn’t realized how bad his addictions, depression and anxiety all had gotten. Neither did his family. In the months prior, he has severely disconnected from his family as well, aside from when he visited with our children. (Who stayed with my family while I was out of town.) So, me going to South Africa alone, to him, symbolized the end of any future for our family.. Which wasn’t true in the least. My biggest wish was always that he would be even more motivated to live a clean and sober life, and take his addictions and infidelity seriously so that we could get our family back. That wasn’t the case though.

On October 4, 2016, My husband committed suicide.

Honestly, in ALL my life, this is the thing that had blind sided me the most. (I will soon write a detailed post about how I have handled this experience.)

After that, I literally became depressed. I hardly ate or slept at all for the next month. Most of my time was spent awake; wondering, crying, being mad, confused, and a million other emotions. It was the hardest month of my life. I got up every day and fed my kids, clothed them, bathed them, put them to bed, etc… but I was completely absent. I was like a zombie mom. Starving herself, and barely sleeping. Honestly, after I would put my kids to sleep, I would sit outside on the front porch for hours. Crying, and smoking cigarette after cigarette and drinking wine. Sometimes until the sun would start coming up. And then I would lay in bed, and fall asleep for maybe an hour or two, and do it all over again. Friends and family that saw me didn’t even know what to say.. and really, what could they say anyways? Nothing would bring his life back.

Now, I seriously had to think of where the hell my life was going in the following months, and years. I had 2 children to support, and there was no longer an option of co-parenting, or mending those wounds. I had to give these kids all I had, because it was me, or no one. I had to pull up my damn socks, and figure my shit out. I had to get my head on straight, and come out of this darkness. I decided that in order to do that, I would start by following through. I had been planning and planning, and saving. Comparing prices for trips, saving photos of where I would visit. Planning the entire trip for months and months… I NEEDED to follow through. Not just for me, but mostly, for my children. Without me being level headed and clear minded, my kids would continue to suffer.

Right from the time I decided I would go to South Africa alone, I decided November (around my birthday) was going to be the time to do it. Flights were slightly more expensive to get there, but, it was the optimal time for everything I had planned on doing and seeing. 90% of my trip, I planned on being outside, so the weather was prime in November and December. I made it official and booked the trip. At that time, I didn’t even have a passport yet though, so I had a lot to do in order to get things ready. That was kind of nice though, because it gave me something to focus on and something to take my mind off of things. I didn’t want people to judge me about working out of town for so long, and then taking on for a ‘vacation’ right after my kids father passed, so I continued to keep it hush hush. Finally, a few days before the trip, I let the cat out of the bag.

I had A LOT of support. From people who UNDERSTOOD what I went through in those 4 years that my ex and I were together. From people who had seen how depressed I was. From people who just love traveling. And from people who, regardless of the situation support my decisions, because they know I wouldn’t do something if it wasn’t right. On the other hand, I had A LOT of negative reactions. Some people went as far as publicly posting that I was the reason my husband did what he did. I had people THREATEN MY LIFE. Saying I deserved to die and that I would burn in hell. I had people calling me a whore, because most of the friends I had planned on visiting were males. I had to block several peoples social media accounts, and make my personal accounts private.

It was honestly all a pretty crazy experience, and aside from all of the hurt I felt, I was able to pull a valuable life lesson from it. People grieve at different paces, and in very different ways. Some people have less control over themselves when they are grieving, and some people have more. Some people take a short period of time to work through it, and some people are never fully able to work through the process. (And yes, it is a process.) We need to understand that in order to be able to respect each others grieving processes.

Am I done grieving? No. It is going to be a long journey, and I know that. I still break into tears some nights thinking how my children’s father will never be able to be a father to them. How will I explain this to them when they are older? Will I let them read our diary? I sometimes still burst into tears when my children bring him up, or when we drive past “daddy’s lighthouse”, and when we visit his resting place.

But, though, I am still grieving, I still deserve to be happy.  I still deserve the opportunity for my kids to be happy. We still deserve to love and be loved. I shouldn’t have to change my life’s path because it doesn’t flow with other peoples’ “acceptable timelines”. And, neither should you! What we should do, is be conscious that people might not be ready to share our excitement about certain topics (such as new love, traveling, or moving abroad, or any other big life choices you make after losing a loved one.) And that we need to exercise caution when sharing this information with our friends and family who may still be in a different stage of grieving. 

“All in due time” they say in Jamaica.

With Love,

Laura-Mae

 

Friends Are Family too.

I remember one time my sister and I got into the biggest argument because she had hurt feelings that I called my closest female friends my sisters. She said that if the tides were turned, than I would be jealous too…. but, I couldn’t really understand why she was so jealous of a simple term. I mean, obviously, they weren’t actually my siblings, and if she could call her friends whatever the hell she wanted, I wouldn’t care.

In our discussion, she said that family should be more important than my friends, and so it was offensive when she had “always been there for me”, for me to call these random people that I hadn’t known nearly as long her, my sisters. I tried to see where she was coming from, but honestly, I just couldn’t.

The way I saw things, family was supposed to be the ones who had your back no matter what. The ones who supported you, and encouraged you. Family was supposed to build you up, and be the first friends you ever had. They were NOT supposed to beat you down. (Sure you have fights, but always make up for it) Family wasn’t supposed to back stab you, or make up lies about you. They weren’t supposed to hold grudges and definitely weren’t supposed to drop you on your ass when you needed them the most.

The way I saw it, my friends WERE my family. They have played such huge roles in my life.. and so have their families even. Most of my closest friends I have known for 10-14 years now. (Basically half my life) They (and their families) have been unconditionally loving, supporting, and never betrayed me. They have answered my calls at 8am, 2pm, 11pm, 4am. Anytime I have ever needed anything, whether it was food, or money, a ride, or an extended place to stay, they have been there. They have helped me find work, get away from addiction, graduate school, navigate pregnancy, go through extremely rocky relationships, marriage, separation….. all of this without judgement. That is the biggest difference.. WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. 

These sisters have stuck by my side, this entire time, without giving my secrets away, and without judging me. They have never used me, or held things over my head. They have given without conditions, and without expectations, just as I do for them… I honestly cannot say the same about my own damn blood. Anytime my sister has helped me, it has been with strings attached. Sure, she has basically helped me in all of the same ways as my friends, kind of… but If I did not conform to her, she would start to use things as leverage against me, or simply drop me on my ass. She has shit talked me behind my back countless times, and made absolutely insane accusations against me. (like sleeping with her husband, or most recently drunkenly stealing her car) She has called the ministry of child and family services on me (with a million more false accusations) and gone out of her way to put my job in jeopardy by lying to my boss as well. She does whatever she can to protect her own image, even at the cost of mine.. And let’s be real, THAT, is not a true sister.

Yes, we may have been born of the same mother.. but, somewhere along the line, the connection has been lost. Even after all of this, I will not try to make up lies about her, or ruin her ‘image’, because she still is my sister, but, I sure as hell wont stand for that kind of treatment either. I have tried to always be there when she has needed me.  I have kept some of her darkest secrets safe, and have never gone behind her back or out of my way to put her at risk of losing her children or job, or housing, or ANYTHING. So…. Do I feel bad that it upsets her when I call these other women my sisters? No. Absolutely not. I will continue to call them sisters until the day I die, or they do, whichever comes first. We will continue to raise each other up, and empower one another, unconditionally, and if anybody has a problem with it, that is just too darn bad – for them. The only thing I have time for in my life is for like minded, positive people.. And if that isn’t you, step up, or step out. 

To my non- blood sisters:

Each and every day, I feel like it is a great blessing that I have been given the opportunity to have you ladies in my life. I feel so grateful for all of the kind words you constantly provide, and for all of the life lessons you’ve taught me. I truly appreciate every little thing you guys do for me, and I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you guys for your love, support, compassion, and listening ears. I send my heart to each and every one of you today, and every day. We may not be related, but you are the best damn family a girl could ask for. 

With Love,

Laura-Mae

 

What The Heart Wants

It can be a very scary thing to fall in love, but you know what is even scarier than that? Never taking the risk of being hurt. Never letting yourself completely accept another person, and showing them sides of you that you have never even seen before. You know what is scarier than love? Death. Captivity. Living a life you constantly regret.

We have all been there before. We meet someone, we get along with them great, and start dating. Things seem to be going really well, but in the back of our minds, there is always this floating image of being deceived, or cheated, disappointed, let down. It is agonizing to live every day in constant fear of being hurt. I know, and I have been there. You put your heart and soul out there for someone, and it is always in your head that, inevitably, it is all going to come crashing down, and your world be turned upside down. I am sure that for most of us, that exact situation has actually happened already once or twice in our lives, and so it builds this negative stigma for us, that love should be feared.

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“The child who knows unconditional love has the greatest gift the world can offer”

I spent years in a relationship with a guy that I loved. No matter what he did, I would stick by his side and stand up for him, and vice versa. I never had any doubts or fears that things weren’t going to work out… but you know what happened? Things didn’t work out. There was several reasons for why, however, none of them had to do with not loving each other anymore. It was a difference in life choices and paths going opposite directions that lead that relationship to an end. It was a huge lesson.. and you know what I learned? That while I held out the hope that things would never end, I enjoyed every moment of that relationship. Right down to the last day. I wasn’t living in fear, or anxiety like a lot of people were, and was truly able to accept someone else for everything they were.

Fast forward a little while. After experiencing such a beautiful relationship, I searched for that kind of love again. I was desperate to feel those feelings again, and I thought I knew what love was, but after so much time spent dreaming, maybe I forgot. I really missed the cuddling, and having someone always be there for me. I missed sharing life with someone, and being able to trust someone… I started getting into relationships with people I barely knew. They would be short lived, and I didn’t really see any future with these people.. But we would talk about it anyways. I loved the thought of having something real again… I loved the attention. I loved the thought of being loved. But, it always played out the same – someone would cheat, someone would lie, someone would just not be good enough, and the relationship would end. It wasn’t love.. and everybody knew it, but we pretended anyways. They funny part was, because somewhere deep down I knew it wasn’t love, I wasn’t scared of those relationships ending.

Eventually, I met a man that I saw a future with again. He was attractive, and funny, he was a hard worker, stable job.. I saw potential in him. We jumped into a relationship, and moved in together. Before I knew it though, I started seeing flaws. They came slowly, but, I saw them there. I started to talk to friends and family about my fears. I was already pregnant with our first of two children, and I was scared shitless that, eventually things would come to an end. I was scared that I would be left having to heal myself, and children from yet another failed relationship. I was scared that he would cheat on me. I was scared of so many things, that I was unable to focus on the good aspects about him anymore. 

2015-03-09-22-36-08-1I stayed in that relationship, and held on for dear life. I tried my hardest to love and love and love. Love through the hard times, the bad times, the times of infidelity, addiction, depression, just love through any obstacle. That is what love is, right? You take the good with the bad? And, wasn’t he doing that for me? Eventually though, I was exhausted of trying to love someone that I was incompatible with.. and so was he. I was exhausted of the crazy roller coaster ride, and all of the ups and downs. But, more than anything, I was exhausted of constantly wondering when things would inevitably fall apart.

It’s a sad thought actually. That our fear of being alone was greater than any other fear we had. I thought about all the time we had spent together, and all the secrets he knew about me. I thought about all of the good times. I thought about the marriage, and children, and pets that we had. Never in my life did I see myself getting divorced. I never wanted to be that person. But, I did want to be happy. I wanted my kids to be happy. I wanted my husband to be happy. Truth be told though, together, we just weren’t, and I don’t think we ever could be. There were so many differences, but we didn’t want to experience the hurt of having gone through all of that time together, just to have it end. We were scared of the pain.. and in the end, that turned out to be the most painful thing. Accepting that we were actually better off without each other the entire time, but just kept trying and trying out of fear of being another failed relationship.

After our relationship ended, a lot of people told me that if love ever found its way to me again, to greet it with open arms. I thought to myself, WOW, after what Ive just been through, there is no way!!!! I wont date anyone for a long time. I never want to go through that again. How I can I trust another person? I don’t want to feel that kind of hurt again. But looking back, if I never took that risk of being hurt in the first place, I wouldn’t have felt the great love that I did sometimes. I wouldn’t have my two beautiful children. I wouldn’t have all of these memories. I wouldn’t have learnt so much. I wouldn’t have met his amazing family. I wouldn’t have experienced so much, and I wouldn’t have had someone to share it with. Yes, I was scared of things ending, but I shouldn’t have been. 

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“Greet Love with open arms”

I am beginning to realize now, that love is not something to fear. That there is someone that I will be able to love again, fully and truly, if I allow it. That you need to accept love when it comes, and allow it to spread through your body, mind and soul. You need to hold on to the faith that this person is sincere, and live every day with that person like it is your last. You need to give yourself fully to another person, and accept them fully too. You can not be afraid that they will hurt you, or mistreat you, or leave you for someone better, because if you do that, than that is what is going to happen. (Law of Attraction.. I talk about this in my other article here.) But also, even if that is what happens, you still can’t be afraid. Even after its fatal end, you need to look at everything you have gained from the relationship and be grateful for the experiences it has provided. 

 

Love does not have to be something you are afraid of, but being afraid to love, is something you must be afraid of.

With Love,

Laura-Mae

The Little Things

Every single day, we have the ability to do things that can make or break someones day… even if that ‘someone’ is ourselves.

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When you wake up in the morning, you can have one of two mindsets: It is either going to be a great day – regardless of whatever happens, or a shitty one. Personally, I always TRY to chose the first option, and in my opinion, the only option that will lead to a happy and successful life. And, as the law of attraction would have it, the more positive energy you send out into this world, the more you shall receive in return. This is why it is so important to always be mindful of what you think, and be aware of which mindset you are choosing every morning.

For example, the attitude of gratitude VS the attitude of ungrateful.

You show up to work a little bit early, but your coworker is late. When your coworker finally shows up (only 5 minutes late), they show up with 2 coffees. One is for them, and one is for you. At this point, you have 2 very defined decisions:

  1.  Freak out, complain about how they are always late, ask how they had time to get coffee, make a snide remark because they got you a double double and you drink it black… ETC. (Attitude of ungrateful.) This attitude is only going to do one thing, bring negativity! It is going to cause an uncomfortable tension between you and your coworker. It is going to cause tension around your work place. It is going make yourself look bad. When people see that you are negative, they will tend to either avoid you, or mirror your energy.. Like a virus, it is going to infect others, and they will also speak negatively about the late coworker, or about you, which in turn throws off the balance and harmony that was previously there.
  2.  You can choose to take a deep breath, and be forgiving. Take the coffee, even if it isn’t what you usually drink. Grin and bear it. Say thank you. Show gratitude, and FEEL gratitude. Realize, that they were late, but maybe coffee is their way of apologizing, and them being late may have changed your schedule for the day, however, there is nothing that you can do to change the fact that they were late, so adjust your plan, and move on. This will show your maturity, your gratefulness, and patience. Perhaps in the future, you are stuck in traffic and show up late, you will be blessed with forgiving coworkers. The balance in the work place is kept in tact, and nobody has to work through uncomfortable tensions. (Attitude of gratitude!)

This example shows how easy it is to throw off the energies by a simple reaction. But it is absolute imperative, that before we react, we think. And we think POSITIVITY. I could go on to say how your simple negative reaction could have cause a coworker to speak negatively about you, you over hear these negative comments, and suddenly you are walking to your car after work, someone bumps you, you are in an even worse mindset, and have an altercation with them, it gets physical… etc. I am sure you get the point by now though, nobody needs to end up in jail or dead because someone was 5 minutes late for work. And the world truly does work this way. If you start with negative thoughts, than it will become a negative spiral, until you flip the switch. It actually has a technical name, and that is ‘Manifestation’… I don’t want to sound too crazy, however, if you do some research on it and practice it for yourself, I PROMISE you will see results.

20170204_125626Another example of making or breaking someones days, is with something as simple as random compliments.

Let’s just say you see someone walking down the road. They have a completely straight face, and are kind of looking down. Perhaps they are in a negative head space right now. You notice their hair is curled to perfection…. what do you do?

  1. The easy option. Silently think, ‘Wow, their hair looks beautiful today’, and move on with your day as if nothing even happened. You could possibly, notice their hair, but then be turned off by their straight face, so you are too scared to shoot the compliment. What if they take it the wrong way, and think you are hitting on them? Awkward… So, you keep silent instead.
  2. SPREAD THE LOVE! Excuse yourself, and explain, you aren’t trying to be weird, or a creep, but you noticed it looks like they spent a lot of time on their hair this morning, and it looks absolutely beautiful! More than likely they will answer to your positive energy with more positive energy and thank you. (It feels great when people show thanks)

This example is just a no brainer. As soon as those words come out of your mouth, they become a catalyst of positive energy in the other persons life, and a multiplier of positivity in your own. Who doesn’t want to multiply on positivity? Not only that, but previous to having that positive interaction with the stranger, you have absolutely no background information on them. They could turn out to be someone who has completely lost all home in humanity, and you restored it. Little by little. Perhaps they are actually a producer, and you are trying to get signed. They love your positive energy and how you radiate it on all those you interact with, and they sign you! WOW. Maybe they just lost a dear friend, and that tiny little compliment lifted their spirits, even if it was just for a split second.

It truly is the little things in life that make all the difference. We don’t want to burn any bridges, and we want to always move in an upwards direction. The only way in life to do that, and to get ahead, is to change our perspective on literally EVERYTHING. I understand how hard it is… Trust me, I really do. I am actually partially writing this blog as a reminder to myself, that I KNOW the law of attraction, and I myself need to work on being more mindful of the affects of my thoughts. Thoughts inevitably become actions. There is no two ways about it. I have been severely tested in the past few years about staying true to this way of thinking, and living (I will add links to some related blogs about those challenges once I get a chance to write about them) and so far I think I am doing pretty damn well with keeping on track.

My sincerest desires in writing this, are that everybody who reads it feels moved to be conscious of their thoughts, words, actions and energy. And also, not just to be conscious that your thoughts have a huge impact on your overall life, but, I hope you actually practice emitting a positive energy. The more you intentionally practice random compliments, sharing everything, showing gratitude, etc, even if at first it feels awkward, or forced, it will eventually become natural. It will become a way of life, and you will want to spread the love and light to everybody that passes through life. You will let go of things that bothered you, you will be more patient and forgiving and understanding, and you will feel true happiness and peace and success within yourself.

It all starts with the little things in life. 

With Love,

Laura- Mae